Women of the Bible: Sisters share a strong bond, but Jesus makes it stronger
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The bane of a father's existence was released just in time for my oldest daughter to fall hopelessly in love with it. The movie 'Frozen' came out in 2013 when she was 2. The only words she could repeat were, 'Let it go!' I had the uniquely fatherly pleasure of listening to her 'sing' those words over, and over, and over, and over again for 30 minutes at a time; all the while being wholly unable to determine with certainty whether the activity exposed her as the most malevolent being ever created or made me love her more.
'Frozen' also brought a new request to our household. 'Daddy, I want a sister.' Soon thereafter, my wife announced her second pregnancy and I began praying for a boy, but Leah prayed for a sister. Guess who God listened to.
Several friends of mine encouraged me to embrace the movie's depiction of sisterhood. Despite 'Frozen's' many, many weaknesses (can you tell I don't like it?), it does uphold the uniqueness and strength of the relationship between sisters.
I have never been nor had a natural sister, but I have observed how, despite the stark differences and the bitter arguments, there exists an unconditional love between my own girls and other sets of sisters I know. It's a remarkably special relationship, but I know of one thing that can make it better.
Jesus knew a couple of sisters, too.
We don't know for certain when Jesus first met Mary and Martha. We know they were special friends to Jesus and that they lived in a small village about a mile and a half from Jerusalem called Bethany.
We do know Mary and Martha were very different people. We first see these sisters in the Bible at the end of Luke 10. Jesus came to stay with them. While Martha was busy preparing and serving the meal, Mary sat at Jesus' feet to listen to him teach. Martha told Jesus to make her get up and help. Jesus, worried more about the attitude and motive behind the request than the request itself, said, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her' (Luke 10:41-42).
If you ever wondered about God's view of women, a Jewish rabbi not only allowing a woman to sit under his teaching, but also defending her right to do so publicly was unheard of in the first century.
Also, notice the difference between the sisters. Martha is the busybody who wants to get things done. There is a task at hand. Someone needs to be served, and she's going to make sure it happens. Mary, on the other hand, wants to be around Jesus, so she sits at his feet. One sister is task-oriented. The other is people-oriented. Jesus neither condemns nor praises either orientation. Martha was doing the right thing to be hospitable and service-oriented, but her motives were wrong. It probably would have been good for Mary to help her sister. Hospitality is important, and elsewhere in Scripture we see Jesus valuing domestic hospitality customs. But Mary's motives were right. It seems Jesus would prefer wrong action with right motive over right action with wrong motive any day of the week.
We see the sisters next in John 11 when their brother Lazarus dies. Jesus arrives too late to heal him of his sickness and talks to both sisters separately. Having suffered the same loss, they each asked Jesus the same question, but he responded to them each differently. Martha went out and met him on the road, and she told him, 'Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died' (John 11:21). Jesus answered her with a revelation of his divine identity and his ability to raise the dead because she said something Mary did not. 'But even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you' (John 11:22). To paraphrase, Martha said, 'Where were you? You can still DO something, though.' Task-oriented concern. Jesus said, paraphrased, 'This is what I can DO.' Task-oriented answer.
Mary said the exact same thing in John 11:32, but left out what Martha said in verse 22. Her focus seems to be on Jesus' presence, not his action. What is Jesus' response? He went with her to the tomb, then 'Jesus wept' (John 11:35). Mary paraphrased said, 'We needed you to be with us.' People-oriented concern. Jesus' response was to be with her and weep with her. People-oriented response.
Then he raised Lazarus from the dead because restoration is the business Jesus is in.
The last time we see the sisters together is in the next chapter of John about a week before Jesus is crucified. 'There they made Him a supper; and Martha served, but Lazarus was one of those who sat at the table with Him. Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair' (John 12:2-3). It seems Mary helped prepare the dinner this time, though Martha seems to have served the food by herself. Mary then finds an intimate, people-oriented way to actively serve Jesus by anointing him. Their personalities are still very different, and that shows in what they do. But Martha's motives seem to have improved, and Mary's action in service seems to have improved.
The best part is that they both learned how to serve Jesus together. They capitalized on their strengths to make up for the other's weaknesses, and in this last week before his crucifixion, Jesus is glorified in their home by the way they serve him together. Their already strong bond was made stronger in Jesus.