Arguing Well: We should fight the right way for the right reason
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I love to argue. It might be a personality flaw. There's something I have always loved about jousting with words.
And that's exactly what arguing used to be to me: Jousting with words. Poking at someone with my words in order to knock them down for no good reason beyond sport, entertainment or the release of aggression. I suspect many people think of arguing the same way. "Arguing" has become a negative word and activity. I would like to rescue the word.
Knights did not always use a lance from a horse for fun. Sometimes they used it in warfare. Sometimes they fought for a just cause. Sometimes, their fighting resulted in positive change. Our arguing should be the same way.
Paul thought about arguing this way. It seems from the book of Acts that Paul argued often and argued well. Acts 17:2-3 points out, "As was his custom, Paul went into the synagogue, and on three Sabbath days he reasoned with them from the Scriptures, explaining and proving that the Messiah had to suffer and rise from the dead. 'This Jesus I am proclaiming to you is the Messiah,' he said." The original Greek word for "reasoned" can also be rendered "to discuss in argument or exhortation."
Moreover, Paul viewed this reasoning from the Scriptures as a sort of fight. At least eight times, Paul refers to himself as a soldier and to his work as a fight. In Ephesians 6, he gives detailed instructions on the kind of armor and weapons with which we are expected to fight as well as the adversary Christians are expected to engage.
We are unequivocally called, as Christians, to be fighters of one kind or another. The question at hand is what kind of fighter we should be. I want to be a better arguer, and I want you to be a better arguer. Five questions will test what kind of fighters and arguers we are, and the answers from scripture will show what kind of fighters and arguers we should be.
WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING?
I hate being wrong more than anything else in the world. So often, I have cared more about making the other person believe that I'm right than I have about what the actual truth is. This means I have cared more about myself than God.
The Bible repeatedly links God's word and God himself with truth. In John 17:17, Jesus prayed, "Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth." Romans 1:25 contrasts selfishness with the "truth of God," accusing people of having "exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever."
My favorite figure from the Reformation, George Blaurock, famously said, "Truth is unkillable." If we fight to be right, we will never succeed, but if we fight to find and support truth, we will never fail precisely because truth is unkill- able.
WHO ARE YOU FIGHTING?
If God's truth compels you to fight, finding the right adversary is important.
Jesus himself explained the purpose of Paul's fighting. Jesus conscripted him "to open their eyes, in order to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Me" (Acts 26:18). Paul later understood that it was not those under Satan's power whom he was called to fight, but rather them whom he was called to fight for. "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12). As we reason with people, we are fighting for them, not against them.
WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR?
If truth rather than selfishness motivates us and our enemy is rightly identified as "rulers of the darkness of this age," the person with whom we argue will require our genuine love and respect. Either they will see the truth of God's word and be better for it, or they will correct our error and make us better for it. If in our reasoning, the truth is exposed no matter what, our arguments can become collaborative rather than adversarial. We fight for peace, not more discord. We fight to find truth, not to make truth. We fight for people, not against them.
WHEN, WHERE SHOULD YOU FIGHT?
Timing is everything. Wisdom should accompany our fighting, otherwise we run with uncertainty and beat the air (see 1 Corinthians 9:26). Ecclesiastes 3:8 famously claims, "There is a time for war and a time for peace." Proverbs 23:9 admonishes us, "Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words." Sun Tzu understood the concept when, in his famous work The Art of War, he claims, "He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot will be victorious."
Often, we argue when we shouldn't. Perhaps just as often, we don't argue when we should.
HOW SHOULD YOU FIGHT?
Finally, scripture is clear about the way in which we should engage. Ephesians 4:15 commands us to speak the truth in love. Without love, truth is meaningless, and without truth, love is worthless. 1 Peter 3:15 commands us to argue and give a defense, but requires that our arguments always be tempered by "gentleness and respect." Paul advised Timothy that, "Opponents must be gently instructed" (2 Timothy 2:25). Jesus himself would not crush a "bruised reed" or smother a "smoldering ember" (Matthew 12:20). We should fight similarly.
I am convinced Jesus wants us to fight for our city and for our nation, but we must do so the right way. The next several weeks, I'll be exploring each of these elements in greater detail. I invite you to come train with me so that we can all "fight the good fight" as well as we can.